By Aubrey Thornton, Social Work Trainee and sibling
It is 2012 and I am at my brother’s last IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meeting. We are sitting with staff and administrators who know my brother and like my brother. We are discussing his most recent evaluation and the services my brother has received. My brother is at the table, my family is at the table, I am at the table. As a sibling, I was not always included in these meetings, but now, I am an adult and in school for social work with a goal of working in schools and students with disabilities. I wanted to make sure that my brother was provided with all of the things he needed to be successful.
We discussed my brother’s progress. He had a job that he was connected to via a friend of the family, but maintained all on his own. He was going to college (the program his high school transition program partnered with at the community college). He, through his amazing resilience, determination, and amazing personality, created a support system around himself. He had friends, family, teachers, community members all willing to work with him and help him if he ever needed it. By all standards of his special education team, my brother is a success story. What could be better? Maybe a path towards a career not just a “job?” He was competitively employed, so we should just be thankful, right? Maybe a college program related to his career? I started to sense that my brother’s career goals were being decided for him. The world seemed to want him to work in the food service/sanitation industry. This was acceptable by his team, and my brother, who is an incredibly hard worker, took on every challenge and worked to get the most out of all of his experiences. But was this what he really wanted out of life? No. Not according to his IEP where he identified that he wanted to work in the film industry.
Image Description: Photo of a cliff with green grass overlooking the Atlantic Ocean.
But like I said at the beginning, this was my brother’s last IEP meeting. What are the options for his next steps? We were staring at the cliff into adult services. We got the same options as everyone else: DRS (Department of Rehabilitation Services) that would help my brother go to college, but he would need to complete his degree in 4 years with arguably less support than he received in high school, the PUNS (Prioritization for Urgency of Need for Services) list to see if he qualifies for adult services. I left the meeting feeling so incredibly proud of my brother and what he accomplished, but also dread of not knowing what is next.
We kept moving. My brother’s career dream changed. After all, as Stephen Colbert stated, “If we’d all stuck with our first dream, the world would be overrun with cowboys and princesses.” He completed a degree in clinical massage therapy and is working part time in his preferred field while maintaining employment at another job so that he can work towards his financial goals. He is married to a wonderful person. They have bought a home. We are so proud of him and his accomplishments. These are celebrated moments in anyone’s life. Unfortunately, there has been minimal support for my brother who is also part of the disability community. My family, his wife and in-laws support him in every way we can as we would for any loved one, but shouldn’t he be entitled to accommodations and supports? Why should his support end after high school? Why did he qualify for services in high school but suddenly he becomes and adult and it feels impossible to get the support that helps him realize his dreams?
