Changes in daily routine can be hard. With the holiday season and the winter break coming up, many school-aged children’s schedules are about to be changed. On top of that, the COVID-19 pandemic adds additional uncertainties to this year. These changes in routine can be especially challenging for children with a diagnosis of autism, as research has shown that unpredictability can be a source of stress. Here are some simple techniques you can try out at home to make these transitions a little easier.
Use the Grandma’s Rule. When it comes to grandma’s bag of tricks with children, you may picture them saying “go clean up your rooms first and then you can have your cookie!” This is exactly what the grandma’s rule is in a nutshell. The grandma’s rule is a way of presenting instructions where you frame your requests as “first XXX, then XXX”. Doing so will not only decrease the unpredictability, since you’re laying out what are going to happen, but also specifying what will happen once the request is completed (aka, the consequence). You can use this language in many situations in your child’s daily routine.
Work out a “predictable” schedule. Another way to decrease the unpredictability is to being upfront with what the new routine will look like. No one loves keeping accommodating to surprises. Working out a new schedule beforehand and stick to it often makes the transitions easier. You can then post it on the wall, mark it on the colander, and try your best to stick to it.
Find alternatives. One thing that makes changes in routine difficult is that some of the things we enjoyed may not be available anymore. Maybe it is a holiday tradition that everyone goes to grandma’s house for a big thanksgiving dinner, but you might get disappointed this year due to COVID. In situations like this, you can try to find alternative ways to achieve the same goal. Instead of meeting in person, you can try to FaceTime during thanksgiving dinner. Instead of exchanging presents in person, you can plan and mail them out ahead, so they’ll arrive before Christmas.
Involve the child! Perhaps the most important step is to make sure that you include your child throughout the whole process. Don’t make them a passive “receiver” of change. Instead, ask them how they’d like to do among the options that are available. Keep having an open conversation and being flexible to make adjustments as needed is the key as the whole family accommodates to the reality we now live in.
People exchange presents.
